Ben Folds: Play Me Like a Piano...?

Sorry for the month-long hiatus so early on. Perhaps you can see why I'm stuck with fictional relationships. No time for a real one! 

While talking with a friend about the jarring feeling when seeing ex's cars, I remembered this video.

You can drive down my trail of tears any time, Ben... No, that can't be right.

Now, yes, I know this is a song by the Dresden Dolls, but we'll talk about Amanda Palmer later. Right here, and right now, we're talking about my number one pianist spouse, Ben Folds.

This is a man who tells you that his trio has five members. (And I'm not too embarrassed to tell you that I didn't work that one out until about two months ago when I saw them on the "Do It Anyway" video, because I didn't have cable, never saw any music videos, never went to a concert, and wasn't the kind of kid who read liner notes. Oops.) He can barely sing, but he rocks it with confidence every time. And I spent approximately 4,000 hours of my time in middle school sighing while listening to "Brick." [dramatic swoon] I was such a good kid; "Army" may well have been the first time I sang along with a swear word. Yeah, I wore that CD out on the brand new Discman. Happy 13th birthday, future Mrs. Folds!

But it wasn't until I saw him as a judge on The Sing Off, an acapella contest show on NBC, that I knew we were getting serious. You'll work it out eventually, so let's get one thing straight; this girl loves a nerd. Talk passionately to me about something I don't understand, but in a way I find accessible, and you've got me. Bed Folds is an ultimate music nerd. I didn't always follow the technical stuff, but this is the same guy who sang a chorus of "you can't draw a crowd by drawing dicks on a wall," so I think we could work that out. Anyways, music nerd. Huge nerd.

Really, really, shockingly big nerd.

Glasses.

Le sigh!

How would this meeting go? Not well, I'd think.

Me: Hey, you look kind of familiar.

Ben Folds: Yeah, I'm Ben Folds.

Me: No, I don't think so... Hold on, let me IMDB it...

Ben Folds: OK, well, would you like to hear me play the piano? [rocks]

Me: Oh, yeah, you're Ben Folds! I had one of your CDs once.

Ben Folds: Ouch.

Me: Look, if we got married, would you be able to get Red Fraggle to come?

Pros: Finally Growing Into His Face, This.

Cons: Married, Insanely Too Cool For Me, I Know Absolutely Nothing About Music and Fan Girl Blathering Can Only Carry Us So Far. 3 points.

Note: While all the Youtube links in this post are Ben playing covers of other people's song, I do actually know and love his work as well. Here. (See? He looks much better these days. Maybe it's the hair. Either way, I'd totally marry that.)